Newsletters
Newsletter No.1 : 23rd March 2020
Good morning Gentlemen,
It is disappointing that this morning’s tea and buns with the Mayor has had to be cancelled. All further club meetings have been postponed until further notice.
We will try to keep you fully informed with these newsletters and we hope that Members will feel free to contribute short pieces in the future. Please let me know.
The Buddies System
Our President and Committee are organising a Buddies Scheme. Each officer has been allocated several Club Members with the object of keeping in touch. When you receive an unexpected telephone call from a Committee Member this is to check that you are well and to see whether you need any assistance. Please feel free to contact your Buddie or any Committee Member at any time if help is needed , all member details you will find on our website under the members section.
In order to access the web, search for ‘Faringdon Probus’ in your search engine and select the ‘Members’ tab. The login password will be 20farprobus14.
We would like to extend our contacts to Faringdon Probus members widows but , regrettably do not have any email addresses. They are Carolyn Williams, Anne Stallabrass, Sylvia Athawes and Zena Leon
Faringdon Town Council Video
The Town Council have produced an excellent video which you can play below:
Contribution from John Hastings:
Neanderthals
After retiring I completed a course in archaeology. That was in 2002. The received wisdom then was that Neanderthals (Homo Neanderthalensis) were not very bright and were wiped out by our ancestors, about 50,000 years ago.
However, a more up-to-date view is that they were quite intelligent and more durable than us, but constitutionally timid. Their migration was slow and new settlements were built within sight of the previous settlement and travel over water was only undertaken
when the opposite shore was clearly visible.
Homo Sapiens, on the other hand, were (and still are) not cautious or sensible. They went anywhere and everywhere sometimes to their doom.
In conclusion, it seems that Homo Neanderthanlensis were painfully rational, rather cautious, and that Homo sapiens was (and perhaps still is) batshit crazy.
Hoarding at Times of Crisis
In Faringdon there has been unpleasantness caused by panic buying, shelf stripping and the hoarding of a variety of goods from toilet rolls, tinned food, vegetables and meat to name a few. Police have had to be called to Tesco and Waitrose here where tempers have got out of hand.
It is not a new phenomenon.
In the 1960s Evelyn & I moved to a new house when the owner, a lady of means, moved into a nursing home. In the garage we found a metal dustbin filled with chunks of pink soap that had been hoarded pre-war.
Some may remember this as ‘carbolic soap’ (containing phenols and coal tar products), which was had anti-bacterial properties as was used to treat acne, eczema and psoriasis.
Some may remember Lifebuoy soap which was withdrawn under EU Regulations. Although carbolic soap was banned by the EU it can still be obtained online.
The recent food shortages in supermarkets bear no resemblance whatsoever to the rationing and controls of wartime Britain.
Government Recommendations Regarding Corona Virus.
Please remain safe and follow the Government’s advice on distancing and hand washing.
If we can be of further help please let us know.
To Raise a Smile
Transcript from court case following fight in Tesco’s:
Lawyer: ‘What happened then?’
Witness: ‘He told me, I have to kill you because you can identify me’.
Lawyer: ‘Did he kill you?’
Witness: ‘No’.
Newsletter No.2 : 6th April 2020
Good morning Probus Member
Your President and Committee send you their very best wishes together with their apologies for having no meeting this morning. We miss you!
We trust that you are keeping well and enduring this difficult time with resolution.
Remember that we are available to help or to arrange help if you have problems.
The Faringdon Viral Kindness Group is also available to help. You can ring them on the following numbers:
07754 135057
07936 041385
07936 034458
BUDDIES SCHEME
Our Buddies scheme is working well and our idea has been adopted by one other Probus club in Gloucestershire.
NEWSLETTER CONTRIBUTIONS
Thank you to all those who have sent contributions to our Newsletters. Correspondence, news, ideas, articles are all welcome. Please address them to the Secretary,
CORRESPONDENCE
From Stan Sheward:
Your anecdote about the soap reminded me that when I was evacuated to South Africa (from Egypt) during the war one could buy a tablet soap called 'Yacht'. One of the features of this soap was that it floated in the bath. If my memory serves me correctly it was manufactured by Lever Bros but I don't ever remember it being on sale in this country when we returned home. I have since 'Googled' it without any joy the only reference I could find being soap for cleaning yachts! Perhaps one of our members has come across it in the past?
Stan
ITEM FROM THE PRESIDENT
Lockdown
Corona virus stalks the land,
I must from you two metres stand,
I may not safely shake your hand,
We are both in lockdown.
No longer may I kiss and hug,
To avoid me giving you this bug,
To combat which there is no drug,
I am in lockdown.
No longer. May I walk the street,
Nor in a restaurant may I eat,
No friends and family may I meet,
I am in lockdown.
I may not to a concert go,
Or to a theatre for a show,
And even bingo is a no,
Because of lockdown.
I may not drink in my local pub,
Or turn out for my football club,
Nor go to Macs for my favourite grub,
We are in lockdown.
The streets are empty in my town,
The stocks and shares have tumbled down,
We fear the NHS may drown,
We are all in lockdown.
When we cough or if we sneeze,
The virus spreads which spreads disease,
To save more lives we're asked to PLEASE
Stay at home and do lockdown.
CONTRIBUTION FROM NEIL SUTHERLAND
For those having trouble with passwords
Senior trying to set a computer password:
| WINDOWS: | Please enter your new password |
| USER: | cabbage |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters |
| USER: | boiled cabbage |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character |
| USER: | 1 boiled cabbage |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces |
| USER: | 50bloodyboiledcabbages |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character |
| USER: | 50BLOODYboiledcabbages |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively |
| USER: | 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation |
| USER: | ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow |
| WINDOWS: | Sorry, that password is already taken.... |
FUTURE ITEMS
Please let me have any items for the next Newsletter. We will be covering the subject of panic buying and food shortages including the ‘Dig for Victory’ campaign in WWII, in particular how the Prime Minister’s country house, Chequers, became over-enthusiastic with the scheme.
SHORTAGES – ADVANCED WARNING
Gentlemen you should be aware there is an impending shortage of knicker elastic!